madeline
1. My mom always told me my name came from the name Magdalene from the Bible but I think she just picked the name because she liked it, not because it is Biblical. I wish there was more to why I was named Madeline because I wish that my mom named me after Madeleine Albright or something cool, but she didn't. The variations of my name show the type of relationship I have with someone. For example, my extended family and substitute teachers usually call me Madeline, my nuclear family and friends usually call me Maddie, and some of my really close friends and family friends call me Mads (Madz if I'm bowling--it's just a thing). My nickname Maddie happened because I never liked my name growing up, and I still don't, and I spelled it like that because I wanted -ie instead of -y so I could dot my i's with shapes. My nickname Mads/Madz happened because my family friends just started calling me that when I was growing up and it just stuck. The shorter the variation of my name means the closer I am with someone usually so it defines the way I interact with people.
2. My experience of being as part of a larger whole has been as a result of my last name: Simmons. My dad's brother has 5 kids that I grew up around and so at almost every gathering there would be a mention of a "Simmons gene" or the "they're such a Simmons" comment. I didn't really like this homogeny of my family, because to be honest a lot of them annoyed me and were mean to me since I was the youngest, so this always insulted the sense of self that I was trying to build. But the dilemma of the other side, being an individual, meant that in terms of my name I did not have the community that I had with my family. Even though we are a hot mess, I do like being a part of my family.
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